so i've been home for about 2 months already and i can honest to God tell you, I am bored out of my mind. and everyone is leaving to go to school in about two weeks so i'm going to be even more bored once all of my friends leave. this summer has not been the best one and it hasn't been exactly what i was hoping it would be. however, i am now trying a different approach: stop being a little bitch and think about how great your life has been thus far. it really occurred to me today when i was looking at a blog of a part-time model from milan. she has all of these fascinating pictures of the places shes traveled, the grogeous and expensive clothes she wears day to day, her beautiful boyfriend, and their crazy adventures that they partake on. i love reading her blog because it takes me to another world and reminds me that there is so much that i havent done and havent seen yet that i NEED to. i noticed that while im here in easton, i get slightly less motivated to do things and a certain "i cant do it" attitude takes over me. i am not this person. i have always had ambitions and have always been able to do things that i want to do, no matter what the limits are. i went to greece when i was just 5 years old and had a great experience even though i was very young. my mother and i moved to the city and basically lived our faced-paced lives at the foot of new york city until 7th grade. in 7th grade i was given an opportunity to go to washington, d.c. to see the sites, learn about the history of our country, "become a better leader", and meet new friends. 9th grade to 11th grade i was able to go to new york city every saturday to attend classes for design at FIT. for my 16th birthday, on a whim, my mother and i decided to plan a trip to italy for close to 3 weeks about 6 months prior to our departure date, which is pretty insane. 12th grade i was accepted to all 3 schools i applied to for design, all in 3 vastly different areas of the country: new york (FIT of course), miami, and orange county, ca. i picked the most "unrealistic" option, orange county in search of something new and exciting and that is exactly what i found. i still am in shock that i was able to pack up my life in 2 bags to an unfamiliar place 3,000 miles away with no company and no relationships whatsoever in california. i had such an incredible year there and love exploring new areas and still get blown away by how awesome the west coast is. at the moment though, im looking for something more. i tend to get bored very easily. im starting to work on my line that i will be selling online for this upcoming spring season. im also trying to find an internship or something to keep me busy and give me more experience in the industry this upcoming year. i am constantly wondering and anticipating what in the fuck i am going to be doing after i graduate from school this year. back to this model's blog though: she has pictures of paris, london, monte carlo, milan, and beautiful beaches in italy and i cannot help but think how much i just want to be in europe after this year. i have always been fascinated by their culture and lifestyle and people. i just love being apart of that and want to live there and experience the different aspects of fashion in every way and every place that i can. my mother and i have been talking about going to france this upcoming summer and for some reason it didnt seem that realistic to us for awhile but now im finally realizing that everythingggg ive wanted to do my entire life has HAPPENED for me thanks to my mom. she comes up with ways of finding the money to do this shit and just goes for it. idc what it takes to get the money and idc if i have student loans to pay off and shit, my mom and i are seriously going to france this summer and getting the fuck out of here and having amazing experiences because life is short and everything is possible. i cannot wait to travel and do what i want in fashion and be successful and continue living my life being happy :)
i also have just been upgraded to being a server at the restaurant i work at this summer and my boss has been on my ass for the past month or so, making me feel like everything i do is wrong and like he is waiting for me to mess up. i start like my official shift where i control my section and have a follower observe me and how i wait on my tables and i have been very nervous leading up to this day, worried that my boss and my peers are going to think low of me if i mess up and cant do this job. right now im just thinking to myself though, who the fuck cares?? im gonna be here for only a month and a half longer and im gonna be making a nice amount of money whether my boss likes me and the way i do things or not. and who gives him the right to be a complete jackass to me for no reason? i havent done anything wrong at this job that ive had for almost 2 and a half years and i dont need to be stressing over him and his attitude. i am such a perfectionist though that i feel like i need to please everyone and i dont. the only person i really need to please is my mom and she thinks that i will do great with anything i do. she is so proud of me and my accomplishments and only thinks that i can do right. so im just going to keep that mindset today as i go through hopefully a stress-free first real day of serving at work. im tgrying my best to not sweat the small shit. kkkk :)
